April 20, 2009

I know, I know. I have a problem with updating. Whatever. 

The end of freshman year is close! I can smell it! I can… I can…

Applying for internships and summer jobs has consumed the meat of my life  recently, but hopefully this investment will provide a high-reward return. And, maybe some bank. Then again, maybe I won’t get anything because, nowadays, the unemployed is up and fighting. Some girl with minimal life experience and blog updating issues will easily be overlooked. News and updates on the quest for employment soon.

It’s no hidden truth that people embellish their work history with experience that may or may not have occurred. But who’s to say that companies don’t embellish their job descriptions either! Sorry dear, but the hard reality of Media Production Office Manager is not “ability to prioritize tasks and perform with a high degree of independence and minimal supervision”. It’s “ability to endure burns from extra-hot lattes at any given time, to order chinese take out from non-English speaking hostess, and to provide bandaids for paper cuts acquired while enveloping several hundred promotion mailers a day.”

A job listing with more than !!! ten exclamation points? STAY AWAY, my friend. STAY AWAY. 

The real gems are the ones who don’t have an automated system email you the time of your phone interview, or have you upload a resume on a fancy careers site to some unknown vortex of human resources. No, the real gems aren’t on craigslist or internzoo or the UC Davis listserv. They’re hiding somewhere in the wild, roaming with your savage competitors, waiting for all the townspeople to become sick of your wolf cries. And then, from the forest’s dark abyss, it will leap into the field of your hopes and dreams, and devour all of the bitchwork sheeps in your herd. And by herd, I mean Bookmarks Folder. And by Bookmarks Folder, I mean the one filled with all of those potential jobs you found on craigslist.

Happy Hunting, generation X. 

Oh, and go read a newspaper.

Or send a funny card to your BFF.

Seriously, vote Kerstin.