January 22, 2009

I have a couple midterms soon and a paper due; therefore, I blog. Just because life and weather have resumed melancholia, for the time being at least. Nothing unusual so far, just your run-of-the-mill January. You know, sunny mornings, cloudless skies, seventy-degree temps. Same old, same old - but don’t run away to MTV just yet. 

In the midst of all the Spectacular, Spectacular of Obamz becoming prez, it’s kind of great to meet an optomistic antonym. I’m talking about my Lit teacher - skinny, white, and a lazy left eye - who looks like he’s either still in college or fresh out of. He’s cynical, downbeat, sardonic and wears shirts like “Shakespeare hates your emo poems.”  He’s completely distracted by inappropriate humor (i.e. colored linens named “geese-turd green”) and draws arbitrary life lessons from  pop culture (i.e. “Hitchhiker’s Guide  to the Galaxy”). He’s crass, crude and does not hesitate to use “fuck”, “shit”, and “rapist” in the same sentence when the situation permits it. He’s predisposed to blurt out random hilarities (i.e. “Due to technical difficulty, I’m going to smack the shit out of something”). He’ll play “Your Body Is A Wonderland”, “Sexual Healing”, and “Let’s Get It On” - laughing the entire time to make a point about sexual innuendos.

Yeah, it’s pretty great. Maybe as great as my human sexuality class. Just a couple days ago, the chapter was “Sexual Arousal and Response.”  We were talking about primary erogenous zones.

“Any guesses anyone?”

Cricket.

“None of you are turned on? Ever?”

And from the sea of 500, two gigantic arms emerged from a far corner of the hall.

He hollered, “BOOTY.”

More arms.

“COLOGNE.” “ABS.” “LARGE CLITORI.” “LESBIANS.”

Completely irrelevant to the term “erogenous zones,” meaning an area of heightened sensitivity not the perverse kinds of things that turn you on - but that’s besides the point. Tomorrow is Moans, Groans, and Intimate Relationships.

Good times, good times.

I’ve spent a good twenty minutes hiding in this refurbished barn. For those of you non-Aggies, it’s not as ancient and agrarian as you think - I’m here for the WiFi (”moobilenet”) and the curly fries from Carl’s Jr. downstairs.  Anyways, twenty minutes too many.

Like I said, a paper and some midterms. 

Have a McRib-iffic Lunar New Year, y’all.

PS - Twitter me. Millie is the only one who ever @’s.